Self Obsession Vanity Love Self Destruction

Self Obsession

‘You are not that important.’

‘Life is bigger than one life.’

‘Do not get lost in yourself, you are not that interesting.’

‘Your purpose should transcend service of self.’

All of those are mantras I live by and repeat to myself often. Why? Well I have observed a cultural phenomena that is rampant today, especially in the West, of complete unashamed social and self destructive SELF OBSESSION!

Just look what it led to in Disney’s Snow White. Had the magic mirror in Snow White had any sense the dialogue would have been as follows;

Snow White Disney Cartoon Witch Queen Self Obession

”Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Fairest of them All?

Snow White Mirror Introspection

”Listen up Queen…Witch…Lady! This obsession you have with your beauty is extremely unattractive and unhealthy. You realise it is driving you to contemplating the murder of a little girl right? She’s like 12…and you want to rip out her heart, seriously, I think you should see a Therapist or something, I know someone who is really good…I say this out of friendly concern…why have you picked up a hammer?!”

Instead He/It tells her Snow White is prettier…and well you know the rest. Point is, he fed the fire of her self obsession.

Self Obsession is nourishment for the Ego. The Ego clouds judgement, dampens empathy, diminishes humanitarian concern and bolsters self righteousness. It hurts you without you realising it and is toxic for those around you. So you end up in the company of those who share your affliction, and they cannot help you, for they are as self absorbed as you are.

Ego ego

Eventually you seek the company of those who are selfless and giving. You leech all their goodness and patience and love, to heal yourself of your self inflicted miseries. Taking and never giving back. Without a thought for how much you drain them. No thought of ever giving back. Seeking their company only when your Ego needs comfort. Leeching for long enough to feel good again, then slithering off into the dark you call life. A cruel circle, that you are unaware of, but the Self-Less suffer.

Feed the World selfless selflessness

Being someone who is the leeched and not the leech, I have found that I am thoroughly exhausted. There is only so much unreciprocated giving you can do before the ugly head of bitterness slinks into your heart. I don’t give to receive, but the etiquette of life mandates it. It’s called fairness.

SO I decided to reflect the behaviour of these types of folk back onto them and found it really hurts them terribly. Yet if you attempt to explain that you are mirroring their own behaviour, they look at you dumbfounded, and it became clear to me that their self obsession has left them so blinded, they don’t they see themselves in my behaviour mirror.

It was slightly alarming.

People are more self involved than ever before, yet not self aware.

Introspection and Self Awareness are the first steps for change that leads to the improvement of self.

Self Obsession is an indulgence which undoes your efforts towards growth.

@jaredhindman

@jaredhindman

I do continue to be a player in the ‘Leech Game’, but to a lesser extent. I try to keep a limit on how much I give, when it detracts from the energy I use to improve myself, that is when I draw the line. Any good I do is to serve the Greater Judge, who I hope will see my intention as pure. Evaluate your place in ‘The Leech Game’ and decide if you are working towards Self Improvement or Self Destruction.

 

Your Thoughts?

Yours Truly,

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Stupid stupidity the simpsons

All The Money In The World Wont Cure Your Stupid. 

It is not a disorder which even 1.8 million pounds can treat, something which Roger Griffiths proved after winning the lottery on October 22nd 2005. He quit his job, reformed his old University band ‘FMB’, then once that fell apart started a another called ‘The French 75′s. He bought a health spa, went on holidays, bought extravagant cars and homes and generally enjoyed his millionaire lifestyle…until he found he had no money left. He has now split from his wife, moved in with his parents, is repaying debts and has gone back to work as a Recruitment Consultant.

roger griffiths lottery win millionaire

I have no personal problem with Roger Griffiths, nor is this blog post an attack upon him,  he is merely an example I am using to warn myself and the world of an epidemic which I am most concerned about. He is not alone, there are millions in the same stupid boat.

stupid people

See, rich or poor, whether you started at the top  or bottom, silver spoon or spoonless, give someone a pot of gold and the result will  reflect who you are as a person, (Social Injustice to a side, that is a huge topic which I wont delve into on this post). This story really emphasised the point that common sense has indeed become a super power. From Actors and Singers to Lottery Winners, stupidity has taken them from rags to riches…back to rags. Why?

panic

Well because Stupidity is on the rise! When will we have concerts to cure it? when will there be PSA’s on TV to warn about it? Where are the health campaigns?  The screening tests? Are we closer to a cure? Why is there no vaccine for it when it infection rates are soaring? How can we prevent the new generations from catching it? Why is no one panicking!? PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!

judge judy

‘Beauty Fades, Dumb Is Forever’  -Judge Judy

This is just a warning from me to me, me to you, you to all of yours. Money can’t cure stupid. Neither can a Private School. Nor can a Life Coach. A Religion can’t do it and neither can a Scientist.

Only you can.

albert Einstein stupid quotes

Open your eyes, close your mouth and use your brain. THINK about every single thing in your life. Then THINK some more. You don’t have to come up with answers initially, just start off by thinking. And once you have thunk extensively, start thunking for answers. They will come once you have come up with the right questions.

Everything you need to succeed is already within you, provided you have cured your Stupidity. Cure THAT and you can tackle the rest. If not you will suffer the same fate as poor Roger Griffiths.

Yours Truly

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Pain

PAIN

 

Pain is a sea with no bed. You can plumb the depths of it to find it goes deeper still. What is the point of pain?  know it has one.

Pain FOR those who have gone and left their footprints on your soul. Pain FROM those present who stomp upon your spirit. Pain BY what YOU put YOURSELF through.

Pain. When tears bring no relief, only affirm that your heart is breaking.

Pain. When talking only reminds you of the pain.

Pain. When the silence makes it more intense.

When you feel you cannot cope, what is your solution?

Pain can be such a pain.

 

Cat In Pain... or is it indigestion? :(

Cat In Pain… or is it indigestion? :(

 

Your thoughts

Yours Truly

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Journey of Hope

@zuzushafi

@zuzushafi

 

I drag my feet

Leaving behind a trail of dust

As my feet scuff 

Across the  ground

Needless to say I have grown wary

On this seemingly endless journey

Searching for a heart containing purity

With each step hope dwindles

All I have met is folk trying to swindle

Me, of my belief in humanity

Is this a fools errand I have embarked upon?

I am so tired now

Should I go on?

The nights have been darker

Than the days have been bright

Do I have the strength to continue this fight?

 

@zuzushafi

@zuzushafi

 

Yours Truly

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Dear Readers,

This is the FIRST of a select few GUEST BLOGGERS who will be taking over ‘Cynical Me or Stupid You?’  to share their own rantings, creativity, expression or confusions. I hope you enjoy what they have to offer.  So I welcome Farhana, who was kind enough to accept my invitation to share her amazing photography with you all. I absolutely love nature and the talent of being able to capture its glory. Farhana does this effortlessly and combines her amazing work with poignant quotes. An amazing marriage. 

So without any further ado, I give you Farhana Rawat…

 

 

 

Hello and Salaams.. Greetings and Salutations!

I am so honoured to be able to share a bit of myself on this awesome Blog, that I have come to know and enjoy. So firstly, my thanks and gratitude to Zishaan Shafi.

I am a Muslim lady, Masha’Allah, so blessed to be living near the Lake District National Park. Until recently I have kept those images in my fondest memories, but now having acquired a rather nice DSLR camera, the mood often takes me to photograph images all over and share them with the world. I believe that no image replicated could compare with the unique creation and beauty of Allah SWT and I truly believe that it is HE who presses the shutter each time I take an image on my camera. I hope you like what I am sharing with you today and feel free to join my page on Facebook- you would all be so welcome.

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Farhana-in-Wonderland/134726850018320?ref=hl

”Seek the Silence and learn to breathe. A little air works wonders for the mind and soul, and often it is in the silence that comes our greatest gift of sharing. Words alone could never convey the truth of Silence, and silence wouldn’t mean a thing if there was nobody to hear it. The heart speaks in silence while true love speaks in unspoken words.”  

 

Please ask your silence not to shout at me!!

@farhanarawat

@farhanarawat

Hello Blog World… 

I know I have been quiet.. and I know many of you are thankful for thatBUT I wanted to disturb the peace and pop by to say…I am here, I am thinking, I am formulating…I am just not sharing much as of late… this will change… much to your dismay…

There is a face lift coming ”CynicalMeorStupidYou?” way and a host of new posts. I will be trying some new stuff and inviting some great Bloggers to raid this space and have their way.

Until then I Just wanted to say….

All that lives longs to be loved and it is loved THROUGH US. Every time you love you honour the Creator.

So love by word, love by art, love by photography, love by looking, love by touching, love by song, love by prose.. just LOVE dammit.

Love heals wounds that people didnt even know they had. Love heals wounds that are thought to be fatal.

That is the power of love!

Love can transform the wretched. Love can save the doomed. Love can revive the hopeless. Love can heal the sick. Love is the only cure

Like all things, if done wrong, it can cause more harm than good.

So love the right way and love the right things.

Start with yourself and work your way out from there.

As you begin to Love the path will become clear.

Image

Yours Truly 

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

 

Today is the second year anniversary of the greatest loss in my life. Losing my Dad. Every day since has been hard. Every day is an anniversary. Wanted to post this to remember him openly and help relieve some of what is in my heart and mind.

 

Heartbreak

Beloved heartbreaker

 

Beloved heartbreaker

I stifle my sobs of anguish

As you tear through the flesh of my chest

To reach my beating heart

Heartbreaker you are killing me.

 

But I am glad for the pain

If it means I get to see your face again

 

Heartbreaker you have bested me

It is a defeat I boast of gladly

O Beloved Heartbreaker

Who appears when I sleep

Haunting my swim through midnight pools

Of dreams.

 

You drag me down

To the darkest places

I plunge the very depths of misery

My tears filling the seas

Leading them to overflow

 

Beloved Heartbreaker

Don’t you know

How much you hurt me

Beloved Heartbreaker

Don’t you know

This is how I want it to be

 

-Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Dear Departing Love

 

Dearest departing traveller don’t forget me. By God don’t go for too long, parting for but a moment is hard. I feel anguish when you blink and we are no longer meeting eyes, so with this departure, how can you imagine I am to survive.

There is chaos and sadness today, my beloved has left, leaving me bereft. There cannot be any joy. With every second I pray for your return, kindred, you do not know how my heart yearns. Don’t think I didn’t ask, the world and the universe, to make you stay, you didn’t heed what they had to say.

I know it was not a choice, and one day, together, we will rejoice. Just know until I see you again, I will not turn my gaze from the horizon, as I watch you walking away. As you do my heart will sob, my tears are a testament to that.

Dear Departed if you could but see, what your departure has done to me.

Yours Truly

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

Your Heart As My Pen

 

 I wish your heart

could be my pen

I’d place it to the pad

and let it begin

 

Watch as it wrote

streams of words

to me.

As it did

I would wait patiently

 

For the end result

I look on.

As the ink streams

from the nib

to the sheet

 

Curls and dots

loops and marks

A fantastical construction

to express our thoughts

 

 

YOUR thoughts.

YOUR feelings,

this time

not mine

 

Those I know

only too well

It’s how you’re feeling

that I cant tell

 

So let me use your heart

as my pen

And as it would

draw to an end

The Pandora’s box

Would be opened

 

I would finally get to see

what it is

you feel for me

 

Feel or don’t.

Either way

I have to know.

So I can lay

my poor heart to rest

 

Only you can grant

this wish to me

I need to know

how you feel, honestly.

 

 

Yours Truly,

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi

 

If you enjoyed what you read please hit ‘Like’ on the Post/Blog or leave a comment below (OR BOTH, Cheeky! ;-p). Thank You! 

 

OR

Speak Up or Shut Up

Honestly, I am so tired of it. You’re having a conversation, there is a group of people discussing a topic, of course it is something controversial, aren’t most things these days? You have someone who will voice the most contentious and provocative of comments, more often that not it begins with ‘I’m not being funny but….’ and then they make some ridiculous statement….and most will let it slide. I wont.

Why? Because I am a argumentative self righteous zealot? No… well maybe.. no.. its because I truly am open to learning from others. Honest to God. I am more than willing to accept your point of view, HOWEVER, I do require you to support them. I will subjugate them to a debate. I want you to expand upon your statement, explain it, convince my of its wisdom. After all shouldnt we be talking from the mind and not out of our asses?

So why do I become the bad guy in a debate? Because I wont roll over and accept what you have to say at face value? I thought that was sensible. Forgive me for wanting you to explain why you just made the most stupid comment since they handed American Pop Stars a mic and asked them to weigh in on the Presidential race.

I come may from a specific culture, generation and faith, which of course shapes who I am and what I believe, but I have always looked for wisdom in other sources because I feel it is to be found everywhere. We are all trying to say the same thing in our own different way. The Universal Truth. So I dont close my mind off. But I do have a huge filtering process. I may take part of your truth and discard what doesnt sit with the core of what I have tested and then hold to be true.

So if I ask you to clarify your statement please do not proceed to project your insecurities upon me.

If you want to talk with me, then be prepared to justify what you say.

I want to clarify something, I don’t approach conversations with hostility or the desire to demean or crush someone in a debate. That is arrogant and can yeild no true learning, as there is no honesty and opneness to gleaning wisdom. I want to learn, so I am open. I am extremely passionate and opinionated, true, but I am open to being won over by a superior belief or value. I would be so grateful to you if you could impart a wisdom and intelligence I didn’t previously know. That is the greatest gift. I love to talk with and surround myself with people who inspire and challenge me to be the best version of a human that it is possible to be.

Perhaps it is seen as ‘respectful’ to ‘just agree to disagree’. In certain situations that definitely applies. However, when what the other person is saying, goes beyond a difference of opinion, and strays into grounds of ignorance and divisive hate, then you should challenge it. Not allow cowardice or debilitating passisitivity to allow such thoughts to fester and grow.

What you chose to ignore today may become something you have to physically fight tomorrow.

History has proved that.

If you cannot support your ideals then shut up. Why voice then unless you are willing to expand upon the thought process that brought you to holding that opinion. Maybe because there was no thought process? Living your life by headlines. Or maybe because what has brought you to believing these things is racism, ignorance, predujiscm and fear.

 

 

When did ‘debate’ become unpopular.

When did intellectual war become secondary to physical war?

When did challening anothers beliefs become rude and disrespectful.

(I have to put a HUGE DISCLAIMER here, that what I am advocating is Healthy, Productive and RESPECTFUL debate and interaction. Motivated by a genuine desire to learn and improve one another.)

I feel that if you question your own beliefs, put them through the wringer, analyse them with the sharpest eye…then you have more chance of actually embodying what you preach. I dont like to think and say one thing and do another, so I have to constantly question myself and what I am learning and believing.

If you think I’m harsh when debating with you, just know I am ten times harsher with myself. I dont allow myself leeway for ignorance, stupidity, hypocrisy or predujicsm. So I wont allow you much either.

Sorry if that makes me a contentious person. I guess you’ll either stop talking to me or apply the same process upon yourself.

So the choice is yours, Speak Up or Shut Up!

 

If you cant take it there then do us a favour and….

 …you tell em Mr T! 

 

YOUR THOUGHTS?

Love

Zishaan ‘ZuZu’ Shafi
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